


kyuwook | no way in hell

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Series: Fic Requests [56]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Author: Ai, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4109353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dialogue Prompt: "No. Way. In. Hell. Darling."</p>
            </blockquote>





	kyuwook | no way in hell

Kyuhyun should have learned better than to make drunken bets with Kim Heechul. Apparently, he hadn’t learned his lesson after Heechul made him and the kyuline dress up as Girls Day at SMTOWN, so in the midst of his fifth (or is it sixth?) bottle of soju, he staggers to his feet and stumbles towards Heechul.

“Youuuwanna bet that Ikannn finnnnish thish bottle?” he slurs. 

Heechul, who is still quite lucid despite having finished two more bottles than Kyuhyun, grins evilly and replies, “I’ll take that bet. If you can’t finish that bottle, you have to go out in public on a date.”

Kyuhyun shrugs, pretending to not be terrified at the thought of the ELFs finding out he’s in a relationship and sending him death threats.

Heechul continues, “With a Super Junior member of my choosing. In drag.”

That’s... somewhat better?

Somehow, the bottle slips out of Kyuhyun’s hand before he can finish the last bit and slops all over a  _very_  drunk Zhou Mi who’s nearly passed out on the couch. Kyuhyun hiccups drunkenly and starts to fall asleep, nearly forgetting about his bet.

_But Kim Heechul never forgets._

*

Cho Kyuhyun also never forgets, but he often pretends he does. When Heechul confronts him about his promise the next day, he denies ever making such a bet.

Which works until Heechul informs him he has the whole thing on video. Kyuhyun then starts making excuses.

“It’s not fair!” he protests. “I was out with Onew before drinking with you so you clearly had an advantage!”

Heechul just looks at him happily and pats his head. “You have much to learn, grasshopper.”

Kyuhyun stomps down to the lower floor and mumbles a lot of dirty words that cause Zhou Mi to blush.

*

Nobody is quite sure how  _Ryeowook_  lost a bet to Heechul, but he is the sacrificial tribute offered as Kyuhyun’s date. 

“Maybe Heechul guilted him into it?” Zhou Mi suggests.

Kyuhyun shrugs and continues glaring darkly at Heechul. 

Heechul knows that if he tried to make an already angry Kyuhyun go out in public in full-on drag without Changmin, Minho, and Junmyeon along for moral support, he might not wake up the next day. So, he chooses poor Ryeowook as his victim.

The rest of the members come to see them off on their “date” and act like annoying parents at their children’s first school dance.

“Can you two get a little closer?” Donghae asks in a mock high voice. “I need a photo of my baby’s first date!”

“Now don’t you  _dare_  bring my daughter home a  _second_  after her curfew,” Kangin tells Kyuhyun. 

“Don’t worry,” Kyuhyun mutters darkly.

Leeteuk clutches his chest dramatically while Eunhyuk wipes away a fake tear. “Our babies are growing up,” Leeteuk wails.

“I hate all of you,” Kyuhyun informs them.

“We know,” Heechul says with a condescending pat on the back. “Now off you go! Remember: you can’t come back for at least two hours!”

Kyuhyun grabs Ryeowook’s arm and drags him out the door. “Ya!” Ryeowook yells. “Treat your date nicely!”

The other boys escort them to the building’s exit to ensure that they don’t just hide in their dorm the entire time. Heechul instructs Henry and Donghae to follow them.

“If you get caught, just pretend you’re filming something,” Heechul mutters. “We don’t need another scandal, even if it is just Kyuhyun with Ryeowook.”

*

Kyuhyun stomps down the street, pulling his hat down low so that no one can recognize him. Ryeowook hurries to keep up, grateful for all of the years he spent learning how to walk in high heels onstage. He tries to smooth the skirt of his dress as Kyuhyun jerks him along.

“Walk slower,” he growls.

“The sooner we go out, the sooner we can come back,” Kyuhyun replies.

“We have  _two hours_ ,” Ryeowook reminds him. “Not a dinner date. Though, I could use some food. Let’s go to that new Chinese place!”

“No,” Kyuhyun replies.

“Why not?” Ryeowook asks, eyebrows furrowing.

“Because we’re not going on a date and I’m not going to dinner with you.”

Ryeowook puts a hand on his hip and smirks at Kyuhyun. “Yes. You are.”

In the end, Kyuhyun grudgingly agrees, but  _only_  because the Chinese place is so new that nobody there will recognize him. And because it’s hidden off a side street so their chances of running into errant fangirls are smaller.

He has to admit: the food is quite good. He eats so much that he almost forgets that Ryeowook is sitting across from him in full feminine makeup and a frilly, lavender dress. Every so often he looks up and gets a momentary shock until he remembers that he hates Kim Heechul.

Just when he doesn’t think he can hate Heechul anymore, there’s a commotion at the front of the restaurant and Donghae and Henry pop out of nowhere. To make things worse, they cause a  _huge_  scene and introduce themselves as Super Junior’s Donghae and Henry and start walking in Kyuhyun and Ryeowook’s direction.

“Do you see that couple over there?” Donghae says loudly. “They’re celebrating their 100 Days anniversary!”

Kyuhyun slinks down in his seat and isn’t even concerned anymore with making Heechul’s death look like an accident.

The owners of the restaurant quickly bring out some sort of pastry with a candle in it and stick it in front of Ryeowook who, to Kyuhyun’s chagrin, is  _beaming_. Kyuhyun starts to wonder if Ryeowook hadn’t really lost a bet after all.

Donghae makes Kyuhyun cut into the cake and feed some of it to Ryeowook. Ryeowook gladly takes the chopsticks and holds some out for Kyuhyun to eat. “Take a bite, oppa!”

“I’m going to kill you,” Kyuhyun growls.

“Not if I kill you first!” Ryeowook replies cheerfully and shoves the bit of cake into Kyuhyun’s mouth.

When the bill comes around, Kyuhyun shoves it towards Ryeowook. “I ate your damn cake. You get to pay.”

Ryeowook turns to Kyuhyun with a sassy smirk and bats his eyelashes. “No way in  _hell_ , darling.”

*

Somehow, they make it back to the dorms without anyone mysteriously falling into the Han River. Ryeowook puts on an  _incredibly_  convincing show and drags Kyuhyun to a number of stores to buy him cute things. First an egg pan, then a cute apron, and finally a set of cute spatulas. 

Before letting Ryeowook change back into his pajamas, Heechul insists on taking a selca. “Just to prove it was you!” he says. “You know, image control.”

Kyuhyun glares sullenly into the camera while Ryeowook preens at his side. The minute Heechul puts his phone down, Kyuhyun charges at him. Thankfully, Kangin appears right at that moment to separate them, and Kyuhyun swears he’ll never drink again.

*

The next morning, he wakes up to a piece of paper stuck to his face. Kyuhyun pulls it away and groans.

It’s a photo from Dispatch of him and Ryeowook out on their date.

Ryeowook signed it.  _Thanks for all of the cute cooking items Kyukyu ^^_

And then in small letters at the bottom:

_It was Heechul’s idea. Please don’t kill me._

Kyuhyun makes no promises.


End file.
